It has come to the attention of the Carls that the filthy minkeys have been overusing our Sharon. Now, we can understand the urge to use our Sharon because she's one of the few players who knows what she's doing most of the time. In fact, one of the wags in our alliance once referred to her as "CarlWiki" because she seems to have the answers to all questions. However, we must protest this over-use of our Sharon.
The situation in which we are finding ourselves (that is, us, the glorious Carl) is that, by the time Shawn and I log in and are ready to have ourselves some Carlish fun, Sharon has already been played with for 2-3 hours. Often, she has been consorting with monkeys during long and difficult missions. By the time you are finished with her, she's in a ragged and almost spent state. Her batteries are practically drained and she's dirty and disheveled. Frankly, we're too impatient to put her in the recharger and too lazy to tidy her up so we'd just rather you stopped using her before we get a chance to do so. If you can't play gently with her and return her to us in her original state, you can't play with her before us. You can have her when we're done. She was ours first, after all.
In conclusion, I must impress on you filthy minkeys that, as Shawn stated in the preceding post, Sharon is a vital cog in the Carl machine. Without her, we are an imbalanced entity and have no idea how to complete quests or find our way around the game. In fact, you'd be surprised at how hopeless Shawn and I are at accomplishing anything without her presence. Okay, so you wouldn't be surprised. My point is that she's ours and you can't have her so stop "borrowing" her and wearing her out. It's our job to tax her patience and fatigue her and it's a responsibility we enjoy. It's pretty much the only responsibility we enjoy.
(Note: In case there are any humor-impaired minkeys out there, I'll say that my tongue is in my cheek. That may actually arouse some of you perverse monkeys, but trust me that it has to do with indicating this post is not to be taken seriously and not some disgusting monkey sex thing.)
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2 comments:
Is it hard to turn your other cheek with your tongue firmly implanted that way? ;)
It depends on which cheek it's planted in or on. Some cheeks are harder to turn than others when tongues are involved with them. ;-)
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