Names Awarded the Carl Seal of Approval #1

Grook Plugalug

The Dawn of Carl

Many great philosophies and the ways of life which resulted from them were born from wisdom and wizened discourse between great people. The Carl was born from confusion and thus that state of mind is one of the defining characteristics of obtaining a state of true Carl. Travel with me now to the days of yesteryear and witness, if not the birth of the state of Carl, at least the moment that it acquired its name.

Shawn, Sharon, my husband and I were playing Diablo II on Battle.net when I started to receive messages from someone I did not know. Each of these messages (from someone with the name "Angel Kitty" or some such) were directed at "Carl". The messages kept popping up on my screen insistently:

AngelKitty: Meet me in a new game, Carl.
AngelKitty: Are you coming, Carl?
AngelKitty: Do you want to trade, Carl?

I knew that I was not "Carl" yet I continued to receive messages as if I were. After awhile, it became clear that we were all Carl and angelic messages were being sent to us so that we might begin to realize our true state of being through having it named. So it began, and so it has been.

Wintersday Tragedy Mortifies Some, Amuses Others

While browsing the sights and patronizing the merchants in Lion's Arch, Tankarific came across this accident scene and noted the mixed reactions of on-lookers to the melted remains of one of their fellows. The children were waving their limbs and screaming as their bemused (and nicotine-addicted) parents looked on.

Tankarific wasn't sure of the circumstances of this incident, but due to the suspicious lack of interest by the local constabulary, he suspected that the scene was staged in order to shock the kids. This is exactly the sort of behavior that the Carl wholeheartedly endorses.

Carl Assists Errant Reindeer

The Carl was employed to assist errant reindeer in returning home during Christmas. Here we see Tankarific Carl pausing for a chat with the confused, yet cordial reindeer. Since getting lost is part of possessing a strong sense of Carl, Tankarific expressed his empathy and understanding of the predicament in which the reindeer found themselves. The reindeer were seen to exchange concerned glances, perhaps expressing their doubt that someone who can't find his way for his own purposes could help them get home.


In related news, Tankarific also helped a mutated reindeer locate lost gifts. The mutant, who went by the name of "Rudy", spent much of the journey lamenting the lack of acceptance he was experiencing from his peers as a result of his unusual proboscis. While happy to assist in whatever way he could, Tankarific stood clear of the glowing nose for fear of radioactive contamination.

The Path to Carl

Throughout the ages, man has tried to understand the Carl...or at least classify it in the DSM so it can be treated with psychotropic medications. Understanding the Carl is not an easy thing. On your path to Carlish enlightenment, you may feel a little discomfort, perhaps get a little dizzy, and feel an odd craving for corn. However, understanding the Carl is worth the long and difficult path because great power lies at the end of your journey.

Come with us, if you dare, and travel the path to Carl. With any luck, you'll start to find your inner Carl along the way.