Better Know the Carls

The three Carls are an enigmatic lot. They stand as paragons of Carlness in a sea of those unenlightened in the way of the Carl. The Carl is sure you'd like to know us better, or at least imagines so. At the very least, it is indifferent to any indifference you may have toward us.

Given the confusion those who encounter us have about our identities, we felt it may be useful for you to firm up your knowledge of each of us by helping you relate both to each of our personalities, situations, and the place each of us holds in the Carl dynamic through pop culture.

The three Carls are Shari, Sharon, and Shawn. While the similarity of these names may lead you to believe that we are all related, one of us is bound to the others by sheer Carl power. The other two are bound by blood as well as Carl. In fact, if one of us were actually a sibling of one of the other Carls, there's a good chance that particular Carl would rarely see a day without bruises inflicted in frustration. By the time you get to the end of this likely verbose and incomprehensible post, you'll know which is which.

Which Carl (Shari, Sharon, or Shawn) corresponds to each of the stooges below:

1. (from left: Moe, Larry, Curly)

Which Carl corresponds to each of these stooges:

2. (from left: McCoy, Kirk, Spock)


3. (from left: bacon, lettuce and tomato)


4. (from left: Snap, Crackle and Pop)

Answers:

1. Sharon: Moe Shari: Larry Shawn: Curly

Sharon is the one who is always having to (verbally) deck Shawn for his insanity and goofy behavior. I'm between them and sometimes explain things and sometimes engages in lunacy of her own. Also, my hair is red like Larry's.

2. McCoy: Sharon Kirk: Shari Shawn: Spock (if he is deep in the plak-tow or when he's looped on flowers from "This Side of Paradise")

McCoy is often grumpy and insistent that people act rationally in a difficult situation. Kirk gets all the lines and I do about 80% of the talking when the Carls speak. I also am clearly the most charismatic of the Carls. Shawn being Spock only works if he is utterly out of his head for some reason. Mainly though, Shawn has pointed ears and green blood in real life.

3. Bacon: Sharon Lettuce: Shawn Tomato: Shari

Sharon is the one who "makes" the "meal" (actually plays the game). We're sort of along for the ride and, while we help, we're not exactly integral to the experience of succeeding in the game. Most people would be just as happy with the bacon all by itself, though the tomato and lettuce add something to the experience as well. I'm the tomato because sometimes I say things which burn (unintentionally, just like a tomatoes acidic nature). And it's red. And I have red hair. Shawn, of course, is a vegetable that has to be kept carefully in the crisper or he goes bad. It's one of the reasons why we can't allow him to hang out or be around others for too long a time. He'll spoil if we don't get him back in his cage, er, fridge.

4. Snap: Sharon Crackle: Shari Pop: Shawn

Sharon snaps at us. I crackle back. Shawn pops his sanity cork and tries to distract everyone.

I'm sure you feel enlightened and enriched by this experience. You don't have to thank us, but, we know you're going to insist on doing so. You're welcome.