Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The Future Is Corn

Image clearly pilfered from Cracked. Just because they're a joke site doesn't mean they aren't right! After all, the Carls are full of wit, charm, and infectious humor, but we are also clearly correct about everything of which we speak.

Some of you have wondered about the Carlish preoccupation with corn. Since you've taken the time to worship at the altar of Carl by reading this site (don't try to deny it because that's got to be the only reason you are here - you love us and can't stay away!), I'll let you in on a hint or two as to why the Carl loves corn.

You may not realize this, but corn is everywhere you want to be, in every product you want to use and in everything you want to eat. There's a list here, but it only claims corn is in 25% of the products we buy so they're not exactly the most reliable source. Nonetheless, they give the ignorant rabble who live outside the blessed aura of Carl a clue or two about the breadth and power of corn in our lives.


A biodegradable corn kitchen organizer. It looks like plastic, but has all of the power of corn. If you're starving to death, you can eat your organizers to survive until the next corn harvest.

In fact, if I were an investing sort, I'd be sinking my money into corn right now as it is certain that the future is going to be flying corn cars and high speed corn computers with high fructose processors. Mark my words.

2 comments:

badmoodguy (Бадмўдгуи) said...

It is not made from "corn". No, it is not. It is clearly made from "corn*". I surmise that the associated asterisk leaves its corn-iness in some doubt.

Shari said...

Hey, there, Mike. It's great to see you here on my remaining "blog". :-)

The Carls actually prefer "kourn" (nothing to do with the band, mind you), but we realize that the depth and breadth of the corn-based philosophies underlying the Carl are too sophisticated for laymen. ;-)

You should join us on Battle.net or Arena.net some time. You'd see we're a blast to spend time with.