Lessons in Carl #3

If you missed the previous Carl lessons, here are lesson 1 and lesson 2.

For today's lesson, you're going to consider the Carl through the eyes of popular culture. Choose the most Carlish answer from the questions below:

1. Carl is a movie producer. What movie is Carl most like to make?

1. My Dinner With Carl
2. Battlefield Carl
3. Citizen Carl
4. King Carl
5. Dr. Carllove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Filthy Monkeys
   

2. Carl is a rapper. Which sobriquette would it choose?

1. Carl Monkey Monk
2. Notoriously C.A.R.L.
3. L.L. Cool Carl
4. Wu Tang Carl
5. Vanilla Carl
   

3. If the Carl were to have its own T.V. show, what would it be?

1. C*A*R*L
2. C.S.I. Carl
3. CARL in Cincinnati
4. Carlrama
5. Carl's Anatomy
   

Answers:

What movie is Carl most like to make?

1. My Dinner With Carl (based on My Dinner With Andre) - This movie is about two bores who sit and talk about a lot of nothing over dinner. Spending time talking about nothing is very Carl, though being a bore doesn't really suit the Carl.
   
2. Battlefield Carl (based on Battlefield Earth) - L. Ron Hubbard was a serious loon and refused to take his medication. That gives him something in common with at least one of the Carl clan. He also started his own religion which is bizarre and selective. His philosophy is scary and incomprehensible. That gives him another thing in common with the Carl. Despite all those things, the Carl simply can't sanction anything associated with anyone who started a religion which uses Tom Cruise as a spokesman, no matter how scary and insane he was.
   
3. Citizen Carl (based on Citizen Kane) - The greatest appeal in aping this particular movie for the Carl lies in having a mysterious last word. Imagine what the Carl could do with the opening sequence alone if it were re-written to Carlish standards. An aged and decrepit Fancypants is lying in bed and whispers a breathy, "wombat" then drops a pair of sequined underpants. There's also great potential in a shrill, talentless love interest which Fancypants could also portray.
   
4. King Carl (based on King Kong) - The main benefit of this is that there are monkeys in the original. Of course, a re-make would have to feature a giant Carl worshiped by monkeys rather than a giant monkey worshiped by Carls. The Carl bows down before no monkey.
   
5. Dr. Carllove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Filthy Monkeys (based on Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the H-Bomb) - Peter Sellers was in the original and he had serious Carl. The fact that he's dead wouldn't necessarily stop the Carl from remaking this classic in its own image, but it might slow things down a bit. We'd have to resurrect his corpse using a necromancer and have him animate it.

The best answer is:
3. Citizen Carl
There's nothing more irresistible then Fancypants in a dual role.

Carl is a rapper. Which sobriquette would it choose?

1. Carl Monkey Monk (based on Snoop Doggy Dog) - Carl can mix with filthy monkeys and does enjoy playing with monkeys. The only drawback is that monkeys aren't wombats, though they do tend to throw feces around and eat bugs. That gives them something in common with Shawn so this name has that going for it.
   
2. Notoriously C.A.R.L. (based on Notorious B.I.G.) - This name has great potential because it suits the guild name pretty well. "Notoriously Confused and Ridiculously Lost" is very suitable. However, it's almost too smooth.
   
3. L.L. Cool Carl (based on L.L. Cool J) - Any name with "cool" kind of sucks. Seriously, if you have to say you're cool, you probably suck.
   
4. Wu Tang Carl (based on Wu Tang Clan) - The main benefit of this is that "Wu Tang" is fun to say. "Wooooo Tang". "Woooooooooo".
   
5. Vanilla Carl (Vanilla Ice) - All the Carls are white and awkward. None of them can sing particularly well either. That means they have more in common with Vanilla Ice than any of these other rappers.

The best answer is: 4. Wu Tang Carl
The Carl likes things that are fun to say. It's a big priority. It's the only reason we ever go to places like "Arkjok Ward". Arkjok. Arkjok.

If the Carl were to have its own T.V. show, what would it be?

1. C*A*R*L (based on M*A*S*H) - The Carl tends to associate with itself through battles in on-line games and M*A*S*H was about a war. However, the show was more about the sexually promiscuous and humorous doctors. While some Carls are promiscuous, they are really only interested in yaks (cough, Shawn, cough). And, while they are humorous, they aren't doctors of anything except Carlology. The practice of Carlish medicine concerns itself not with the body but the soul.
   
2. C.S.I. Carl (based on C.S.I. whatever) - All of these procedural deals are tedious and too realistic. The Carl doesn't see where it'd fit into anything remotely related to these shows.
   
3. CARL in Cincinnati (based on WKRP in Cincinnati) - A radio station that is full of wacky characters who embarrass themselves and get into bad situations has great potential for showcasing the Carl. There's even an aggressive maternal role for Sharon to play in the show just like she does in real life.
   
4. Carlrama (based on Futurama) - Animation does suit the Carl as its members are definitely animated. In fact, some of them carry a unique odor such that in person acting with that particular member (cough, Shawn, cough) would be eye wateringly difficult for the other Carls. The main problem is that the show would have to be set in the future and the Carl expects that it'll have a position as a world religion by then and no one would accept that its founders would do the lowly work of package delivery.
   
5. Carl's Anatomy (based on Grey's Anatomy) - This show is formulaic and predictable. It's full of pretty people and cliched situations and relationships. Frankly, it sucks and there's nothing Carl about it.

The best answer is: 3. Carl in Cincinnati
Though the Carl really doesn't know how it feels about Cincinnati, the ability to broadcast the message of Carl and be wacky is rather hard to resist.