Lessons in Carl #2

Welcome to the second lesson in understanding what it is to be a Carl. If you missed the first lesson, you can go back and gain "wisdom" from it here.

Note, however, that intense exposure to Carl for long periods of time may cause you to develop a rash in your sensitive body parts. The Carl will not be held responsible for any disfigurement or discomfort that results from prolonged exposure.

Choose the best answer to each of the following questions (or do whatever you feel like):

1. Which of the following statements are true:

1. The Carl is never wrong.
2. The Carl is often wrong, but does not care.
3. The Carl is often wrong, but is always right.
4. The Carl redefines truth as it sees fit.
   

2. When shopping, the Carl will do the following if receiving incorrect change in its favor:

1. Keep the change.
2. The Carl never counts change.
3. The Carl can't count change.
4. The Carl uses a debit card and doesn't get change. Don't be stupid.

3. If the Carl could manifest physically, what would it most resemble:

1. A platypus.
2. A duck-billed platypus.
3. A pink duck-billed platypus.
4. A platypus-billed duck.

4. What is a codpiece:

1. Carlish undies.
2. A bit of fish.
3. We're not sure but the important thing is that you shouldn't look under one.
4. Something which the Carl wears, but rarely washes.

5. What is a Carl's food of choice:

1. Corn.
2. Pizza.
3. Corn pizza.
4. Grubs.

6. Which of the following words is most Carl:

1. Corn.
2. Smock.
3. Quark.
4. Nahpui.
   

7. Based on the information you discovered about the Carl in lesson 1, what do you think is its disposition regarding scoring of this test:

1. The Carl cares not for scoring.
2. The Carl wants to confuse you by offering these tests and making you wonder whether it cares about your score or not.
3. The Carl has already grown bored and wandered off to look at shiny things.
4. If you were a Carl, you wouldn't care what the other Carls thought.

Answers:

1. "3" The Carl delights in confusion and "3" is the most confusing answer. Therefore, it is the most correct answer.
2. "2" The Carl, while fiscally prudent and interested in grubbing for every cent it can get its greedy little paws on, is incredibly lazy.
3. This was a trick question. None of these answers is correct. If the Carl could manifest physically, the world would likely come to an end as it could not bear the incredible sight that it was beholding. Major religions would lose their believers as they would choose to kneel in supplication to the Carl.
   
4. "4" Washing your codpiece is for losers.
5. "2" While the Carl covets corn and seeks to hoard it for purposes you are not yet ready to know, it doesn't actually eat it.
6. While all of these words are very "Carl", "2" is the most Carl for patently obvious reasons.
7. "2" This one was too easy. The Carl is generous toward you in lobbing softballs so that you can feel better about your progress toward understanding the tao of Carl. Don't expect it to always be so lenient.