Death By Christmas Tree Branch

Who knew that vigorously thrusting a branch with lights glued on the end could be so deadly.

Some of the Carl clan gets out less often than others. Tankarific is the social gadfly who goes everywhere and does everything. He is the favored child of his mistress. From his stern little face with knitted brows to his metal loincloth to his boozy breath, he's his mommy's favorite little avatar. That doesn't mean that there aren't other children in this happy family. Above you see Tankarific's little brother, Smiting Carl. You can see the family resemblance in the muscular tanned physiques and blond top-knot styles they share.

Smiting takes his brother's ugly dog out for walkies.

While Tankarific is the conventional sort who smashes with axe and gets smashed (in more ways than one), Smiting has the self-esteem to forge his own path. Unlike the more perverse characters who display their individuality by dying their nipples purple, Smiting shows his stuff by choosing one of the least popular skill sets. While other pathetic, neurotic, needy monks chase after fighting types and magic types and heal them in hopes of winning their approval, Smiting responds to requests for healing with a hearty, "screw you guys." Smiting takes care of Smiting.

Don't let those sunny yellow overalls and hippie shoes mislead you, this Carl is one tough boy. He can mash your corn with a stern look and a shake of his branch. Better bring some self-heal if you plan on partying with this Carl. Oh, yeah.