Profiles - Tankarific Carl

The Carl presents you with a new feature. Well, it's a feature that may only have one installment if my slack-tacular fellow Carls don't follow my lead. The purpose of this is to help all our fanbois and fangrrls (it hurt me as much as it hurt you to write those words, possibly more) know the personalities, fetishes, and likely odors of the Carl characters.

We begin with the best of all Carl characters. Tankarific Carl.


Name: Tankarific Carl (duh!)
Height: on the shrimpy side, but what business is it of yours?
Armor: scrap metal, dyed orange
Hairstyle: blond sumo wrestler (chon-mage)
Dependents: one very ugly dog, a ping-pong ball popping turtle, a phoenix, and Shawn


Turn-ons: booze, corn, enemies with funny names, smashing things with an axe, free booze, getting lost, getting drunk, falling down, dancing, clapping his hands with excitement at the prospect of booze, making fun of filthy minkeys, cavorting about the guild hall, vanquishing

Turn-offs: 12-step programs, taking things seriously, farming for stuff, paying attention, sissies who fight with swords, following maps, dirt napping, stinky elves


Usually seen in the company of: Mesmerizing Carl, Jin, Olias, Tahlkora, Koss, Pyre, and hordes of fighting jerky


Notable quotes:
"Tankarific smash with axe?",
"I'm Tankarific."
"Looney."
"I'm lost."
"I'm confused."
"We're Carl."


She who helms this avatar: Shari