Perverted Gremlin Propositions Carls

During a recent foray into gremlin territory to help the filthy creatures remove certain undesirable elements from their region (most notably involving creatures thought to be extinct for several hundred million years), Ghostly Wombat (exercising a Carl day-pass to team up with the guild) encountered a local with an apparent appetite for more "earthy" pleasures.

The oddly-named Blimm proposes that Ghostly inspect his "goods"

The demented creature apparently lures unsuspecting travelers to his vicinity by having an inexplicably awesome name. However, once they approach, he becomes increasingly agitated, eager to depart the town and visit a more convenient (and secluded) location.

His confidence up, Blimm is eager to get to his "guest house"

It should be noted that although she was foolish enough to approach, Ghostly Wombat managed to drop an urn of Kuurong's ashes on his head and escaped unscathed. Other locals who are familiar with Blimm's penchant for the forbidden fruits were heard remarking the suitability of the gremlin being foiled by the ashes of someone once best known for "grasping".

It is suspected that Blimm is still at large, and at this point, is probably very desperate. He may now be armed with the ashes of one who once had similar appetites, and consequently should be avoided at all costs. Strangely, Fancypants Carl has volunteered to bring this perverted creature to justice, so any and all information about Blimm's current whereabouts should be forwarded to Fancypants for further research. (Informants are discouraged from sending personal photos unless they also happen to be yaks, involve yaks, or are related to yaks in any way).

***UPDATE***

The suspect known as "Blimm" may have already met someone with a less forgiving nature than that of Ghostly Wombat. During their recent forays into the same area, the Carls stumbled across the item depicted below:

The "staff"; apparently Blimm also had a penchant for hyperbole

Due to these findings, Fancypants has apparently lost interest in the case, although he has retained the evidence for "archival purposes". However, in a somewhat disturbing development, Diabolical Carl has determined to continue to pursue the case until Blimm's (hopefully unharmed) corpse is discovered. "I can't rest until I have his cold dead corpse in my hands," the frightening monster claimed. When questioned as to why he was so intent on solving this particular crime, he replied "Crime? What did he do?"

Diabolical Carl pondering the sanity of his cohorts (and rightfully so). (File photo)

(Editor's note from the High Queen of Carl (Shari): I added Diabolical's picture here for reference).

Regardless of his motives, it may be only fitting that Blimm's body be claimed by a creature nearly half as ugly as he himself once was.

Carl Circumvents Crustacean Crisis

A recent sightseeing trip to the Jade Sea region nearly resulted in disaster as the Carlish Trio met up with what appears to be a crustacean of mammoth proportions. In an attempt to reason with the monster, Ghostly Carl was spotted approaching alongside someone with a hygiene problem that would make Pigpen blush.

Shown above: Ghostly Carl confronting the Crab. The hygenically-impaired one could not be reached for comment, nor did we care to try.

After some brief words, Ghostly Carl and the sea-mammoth appeared to reach a disagreement, at which point threats and childish mother-related taunts became necessary.

Ghostly Carl exchanges pleasantries with the obviously unreasonable creature

One onlooker of the confrontation was overheard saying, "that thar craythur's big!" He was not asked for further comment. Xia Bukpui, a more interesting witness, was later reached for comment: "Ghostly Carl obviously represents the ... pinnacle of Carlish ... grace. The remaining Carls ..., and indeed ... all people [or creatures--ed.] ... in general, could ... learn much from this ... shining example." It should be noted that Xia Bukpui remains the only known living witness after the monsters had departed.

After handing out autographs and taking part in several publicity-related photo shoots, Ghostly Carl commented, "these creatures just don't understand who they're dealing with. They're used to encountering slack-jawed yokels attempting to live in a town made entirely of jade! Suffice it to say, the Carls do not expect to be gracing this site with their presence again in the near future." She continued, saying, "If nothing else, it's damn-near impossible to grow corn out here. How do you people live?!"

Sage words indeed.