Carl Delights in Planetarium Experience

Tankarific Carl claps his hands in glee at the globe action at one of several displays depicting the currently known celestial bodies.

A new display in Nahpui Quarter was launched today as part of an effort on the part of Canthans to both draw more tourists to their dismal, shack-filled streets and towns as well as to educate the masses of homicidal, largely-unwashed, and incoherent heroes passing through the areas surrounding the capital, Kaineng City.

Tourists enjoy a stroll through the scenic and culturally rich areas of Cantha during a day trip before running off and killing things. (file photo)

A verbose Nahpui busybody with the self-aggrandizing name "Adept" Nai who frequently accosts those passing through Nahpui and yammers endlessly at them about things he thinks they should know and do was quoted as saying, "the local government and citizenry desire to share more with passing tourists than just grilled kabobs made from the diseased flesh of expired afflicted and poorly-made rice wine. We've even expanded our normal fare by opening the "Celestial Café" so that heroes can sample a greater variety of our cuisine. He went on to say, "we also wanted to share our rich culture and expansive understanding of the heavens, all 5 planets of it." "Adept" Nai continued to say more things, but the Carl was frankly bored by then and wandered away.

The Carl noted that a large part of the culture in the areas around Kaineng City appeared to include the hanging of tattered rags between buildings on laundry days, constructing ramshackle homes and bridges of dubious structural integrity from rotting wood, and fending off the advances of amorously-minded Am Fah gang members with breath reeking of afflicted flesh kabob who are inebriated to the gills on rice wine. Such gang members drop from the sky without notice and become violent when their advances are summarily spurned. Considering the various forms of "culture" in the area, being accosted by Am Fah is one of the highlights of the experience.

After fully drinking in the cultural "delights" of the areas outside the city, Tankarific Carl took a purportedly "educational" field trip to the new planetarium in Nahpui Quarter to view displays of the known universe, though mainly he just wanted to watch things spin and glow. After occupying himself for several hours by watching the brightly-lit, rotating orbs, Tankarific tried the new gustatory treats on offer at the highly-touted "Celestial Cafe". He pronounced the "Celestial Burger" (a patty of seasoned expired afflicted flesh on a sesame seed bun with "secret" sauce) and a "Celestial soda" (cheap rice wine) to be "barely edible", but "filling, sort of like having a cannon ball in the gut."

The planetarium is open 24 hours a day and admission is free. The Celestial Cafe will remain open as long as afflicted keep dropping dead of disease in the streets so their corpses can be recycled into burgers and the eyeballs squished into "special sauce."