Saturday, January 5, 2008

Elf Terrorizes Local Reptiles With Snowy Wrath

A frightened hydra is hit with a deluge of snowmen.

A warrior elf wielding a sword forged of pure ice terrorized local reptiles with a lethal rain of snowmen. The elf ran around in circles screaming something about "3-headed squirrels" at the frightened hydra as an army of snowmen seemed to just drop from the sky.

Snowmen fall continuously from the sky in a heavy, cold rain of pain.

As the confused and increasingly unnerved reptiles attempted to fight back with their natural fiery defense against the snowy attack, the deranged elf started to stab at them with his icy sword. Witnesses on the scene who wished to assist the terrified reptiles were apprehensive about intervening due to the violent behavior of the elf as well as the offensive odor emanating from the tiny, green-clad, pot-bellied menace. A lack of regular hygienic practices is often a sign of mental illness.

The deranged elf chases a hydra with his icy weapon.

Hydra are native inhabitants of the desert areas of the Ascalonian territories and do not hunt humans as part of their normal diet. However, they are large and dangerous creatures with small reptilian brains that easily misinterpret incursions into their territories as threats. While they will respond if provoked, they will not attack if efforts are taken to avoid trespassing on their territory. The elf's reckless and provocative behavior could not be justified or explained as anything but mental instability or unadulterated cruelty to animals.

2 comments:

Shawn said...

It seems apparent to me that the hydra was asking for it. The poor elf was simply acting in self-defense to what he perceived as aggressive and hostile behavior on behalf of the 3-headed squirrel.

Shari said...

The guilty party speaks! They're going to catch you some day soon!