Embracing Your Inner Carl in the New Year

Tankarific Carl (on the right) enjoys the shiny, pretty winter's day celebration fireworks during the gift shower in Lion's Arch.

Boring and mundane New Year's resolutions are anathema to the Carl. The Carl aspires to loftier goals and seeks to nurture its nature. If you'd like to develop your inner Carl in the upcoming year, consider adopting some of the following resolutions:

1. I will prattle to amuse myself and others when the opportunity presents itself. If the opportunity fails to present itself, I will do it anyway.
2. I will attempt to talk about monkeys or wombats on a regular basis and strive to incorporate some of their inherent uberness into my daily life...except for the part where feces are thrown.
3. I will demand that stores sell me corn. Even if they freely sell corn, I will still demand it. Asking for corn is actually more important than possessing it as wanting corn is a more important component of the Carl than having it.
   
4. I will not care about "winning" and understand that the path to a goal is more important than achieving it, particularly if that path is traveled with friends and a heavy dose of absurdity and nonsense.
5. I will take pleasure in the little things in life, especially if they are shiny and distract my attention easily from...ooooh, look at the pretty blue light on the front of my hard drive!
6. I will strive to confuse others except I won't actually make an effort to do so. Confusion is an integral part of the Carl. Effort is to be avoided.

Have a Carlish New Year!